25 Dec “Yes, and…” to “Yes, and…”
Improvisation is becoming more and more known, understood, practiced and valued around the world, and so I feel OK assuming that if you’re reading this, you’ve heard of “Yes, and…” It’s the golden rule of improv (or impro). It’s a rule that’s applied to guide improvisors in how to relate to what each other does and says so as to create a scene and keep it going. “Yes” means accept what’s said and done; “and” means expand and add to it. Presto! You created a scene!
For actors and other on-stage performers, improvisation is wonderful training, and “Yes, and…” an invaluable technique. For them it might well be a rule to be applied. In everyday life, though? I doubt it. Improv in our lives-as-lived is not rule-governed! It’s simply (and, I think, elegantly) one of the ways we human beings ARE and it’s a huge part of HOW WE BECOME.
“Yes, and…” is a way of relating that makes human culture possible. Mothers, fathers, grandparents and others say “Yes, and” to their babies’ babble—for example, accepting “wa wa” and adding “Doggie’s thirsty and drinking water.” They do this dozens—even hundreds—of times every day—accepting and building, saying yes and expanding, effortlessly and playfully introducing babies to and integrating them into the human culture of language makers. And 99.99999% of them never even heard of “Yes, and…”
I marvel that we adults improvise with babies in this way without being taught to or even being aware that we’re doing it. At the simplicity and ordinariness of what to me is a beautiful and joyous way of talking. It’s beautiful and joyous because it’s relationally responsive. I mean that in two ways. First, it’s responsive to the baby as both who s/he/they is and is becoming. Second, it’s responsive to the relationship that’s being created (its being and becoming) between baby and you.
Would that we were relationally responsive to everyone in our lives, no matter their age or ability! What is it that gets in the way and blocks us from prioritizing relationship building when we’re speaking? That blinds us to the being and becoming dialectic of ourselves, others and our relationships? Must we opine and evaluate, agree and disagree, berate and praise? Must we negate? I suppose we need improv classes with their structure and rules to learn to say “Yes, and…” again.
No Comments